Burkholder Blog

Things seem to always be changing in the Burkholder home. Now that we are officially the Burkholder Four, that chapter of adoption-related change seems to have come to an end… more or less, right?

Wrong! Ever since Zoe came along, I have been struggling to figure out how to balance the ever-growing demands of motherhood and the need to meet the ever-increasing demands of my job as well. Those of you who know me well, know my heart has always been to be a stay-at-home mom. Well, the job that I “fell into” at the church provided me that luxury for 4 and a half years. While I had trouble balancing the part-time position with being a mom to Dante, it somehow always seemed to work. But things are always changing for us. The job changed — several times. The family has changed to include one more little one and the demands of both were becoming too much.

So… in April, I took a month of “maternity leave”. I re-evaluated priorities. The church re-evaluated the position. I was thinking of leaving the position permanently. For many reasons, it didn’t seem practical to quit, however (mostly because Jeff and I were sharing the position and I was afraid that quitting would complicate his job — which he LOVES!)

So, I came back to work in May, but the church staff was noticing my heart wasn’t in my job anymore. So, we sat down and talked about it. They’re splitting out the position and Jeff will move into a role a Director of Technical Arts and the administrative stuff that I’ve been doing under the title of Creative Arts Director, will be open for hire as of July 21.

I’d call it a mutual decision even though the church broached the topic first. It’s an “amicable breakup” to borrow an analogy, and I’m really happy, looking forward to having more time and energy for my kiddos. But it’s still a “breakup”. It’s still change. I still don’t deal like change. And it still means re-evaluating our finances, our schedule, and our life in general…

So as thrilled as I am, it’s bittersweet. And so I mourn the loss of one “chapter” of life, while excitedly awaiting the freedom to be the mom I always wanted to be. See-Saw Ride anyone?

today is the May 29th that was mentioned in our previous post. That, coupled with the exclamation mark in the post title should let you know that we’re in pretty good moods today. Judge Jay Hoberg of the Lancaster Court of Common Pleas decided that we were cool enough to have custody of another kid: Zoë! Yay! Woohoo! Yippie! w00t! and other assorted happy sounds!

We also had quite a crowd in the courtroom with us: grandparents, church folk, Bethany people, and so forth. All three of us elder Burkholders got to testify (including Dante…we were all quite concerned when the judge asked Dante if there was anything else he wanted to say. Visions of him introducing the court to his orchestra-sized and -themed imaginary friends loomingly danced in my head, but didn’t happen) about how we all wanted this to happen; the judge declared that everything was in order according to some statute from October 15, 1980; and Zoë Elaine Burkholder is officially both our daughter and … well, Zoë Elaine Burkholder.

Pseudo-uncle (and actual Godfather) George called later to wish us a Happy National Burkholder Day. Sounded catchy. He, Holly and Elia couldn’t make it due to his school/work schedule, but we hope to get together with them soon. Most of the assembled then headed over to Oregon Dairy for a luncheon — ended with ice cream for all, so again: good moods.

Eventually, we’ll post pix or something, but to summarize: The long, dark nightmare of our nation is finally ended! Oh, wait…that won’t happen until Inauguration Day…unless McCain gets elected. I kid! I kid!

Mostly.

So… I must be the worst blogger in the universe. Thanks Ami, for a gentle prod to update this yet again.

And now for the big news: Zoë’s finalization hearing will be on May 29 at 10:00 AM. After that, she’ll officially be a Burkholder! And that will mark the end of this seemingly endless quest for adopting a child — and only the beginning of a lifetime of being a family of four! What a long, strange ride it’s been…

On the home front, Dante is LOVING being a big brother, helping out where he can and thoroughly enjoying his ability to make his sister giggle. She adores him and he adores her, and aside from some jealousy over mommy and/or daddy’s affections and attentions from time to time, life is good for two siblings.

Unfortunately for Dante, however, we’re continuing our quest to determine the cause of this never ending cough and swollen glands. The poor boy has had more than his fair share of coughs, fevers, and sore throats this winter. The hope that spring would bring relief, seems somewhat ellusive as well at this point. We’ve begun seeing an Ear-Nose-Throat Specialist in an effort to narrow down the allergy-asthma-something else debate… so… hopefully, we’ll have an update on that soon as well..

We covet your continued prayers as we head into the final stretch of the adoption and as we work with doctors to get the little guy some healthier days.

So, it was pointed out to us (thanks Greg) that we’re incredibly lax on the updates of late. Our apologies on that one. Somewhere in the middle of the daily life of searching for pacifiers, mixing bottles of formula, throwing yet another load of spewed on laundry in the washer, and generally collapsing in exhaustion when we finally get both kids settled in for the night, we forget that there is a world of people outside these four walls that care about us (apparently) and about knowing how we’re doing and how the adoption is going.

It really isn’t as bad as that paragraph makes it sound. We’ve just been through a rather hard week (which capped off a rather difficult month) in which we have been taking turns getting sick. The 24-hour bug hit us this past week… and this was after we have been struggling with various colds and stomach bugs from Dante for the past several months. Hopefully, the worst is now behind us and with spring coming and the ability to open up the house just around the corner, we’ll be able to defeat these germs.

As for the adoption: well, the petition for a court date is filed and now we continue to wait. Sometime in the next couple months we can expect a Thursday in court to mark the finalization of the adoption of our sweet little daughter. We don’t have a date yet, but when we get it, we’ll let you all know.

The little angel is now four months old and growing so fast. She rolled over for the first time last night all by herself. She has recently started exploring a world of flavors (I thought it was early too, but doc said go for it!), and seems to like bananas just fine, but the jury’s still out on carrots. Much to our surprise, it looks like she may be working on a tooth or two already. She’s drooling and chomping on her fist non-stop and she seems really bothered by random pain from time to time.

The kids are both great linguists already. The little man is using 4 and 5 syllable words with alarming regularity and recently read a Peanuts cartoon to Nana (with the word imagine in it and no hesitation –!–). He reads whatever he can get his hands on and lately has started making up his own words, telling me he is singing in various languages (including “gerpanese” which I can only assume to be a cross between Japanese and German). He is learning sign language and Spanish and one of his best friend’s mothers is from Ecuador so he loves listening to her talk. Zoë is babbling incessantly as well, and I can only assume that she is trying to keep up with her brother (and mother for that matter — poor daddy will never get a word in edgewise). She’s developing several new syllables in her vocabulary as well.

So, it looks like it’s a good thing that I’ve decided to take a month’s leave from work. A chance to work on the great “Burkholder Ultimate Reorganization Project” or “BURP” as Jeff calls it. A chance to catch up on the things about life that I love — which includes my family and my creative sides… I just hope a month is enough time to catch up!

–Nean

So, I feel pretty idiotic. I couldn’t remember how to login and update here. Obviously, however, I figured it out… So here’s video poker strategyonline europa casinotop online kasinosrealistisches internet kasino,realistisches online casino,realistisches casinocasino spiele kostenlos spieleninternet online casinosunstar casino netrussisches rouletteamerican slotskasinospiele onlinetop internet casinoonline casino spielenonline casino livecasino tycoononline baccarat spielegluck spielcasino online hamburgkeno spielebaccarat rulescasino online pokerblack jackslotmaschinen spielenwww casino on net comkasinos im internetroulette casinosinternet kasinosglucksspiel gesellschaftplay baccarat onlinefreeware spiele casinocasino club comtexas holdem game,texas holdem poker online,texas holdem5 draw pokeronline poker geldpoker downloadenonline poker um geldpoker turnierewww poker net debwin poker bonus codetexas holdem kostenlos online spielenwww poker gameomaha poker onlineparadise poker bonusmindest einsatzstrip poker full gamepoker mit bonustexas holdem pceinzahlungs bonus code party pokerholdem poker spielanleitungpoker spielregeln downloadpoker regeln raise the update:

Zoë is 3 months old now. Growing like a… something nice that grows quickly. Smiling, cooing, and having fun interacting with us.

TPR hearing (Termination of Parental Rights) was last Thursday. All went well. The birth-parents have 30 days in which they could appeal the terminations by claiming they were in some way duped, coerced, or otherwise manipulated into signing their rights away. However, this is so unlikely to happen that it’s a mere formality for the most part. After those 30 days are up, we petition for a court date to finalize the adoption (which will then take about 2-3 months to set). So… we’re looking at early summer for finalization.

Today we met with her birth-parents for lunch. First time we met the father. It was a nice visit. A bit draining. Zoë was a bit over-stimulated and exhausted, so she was very fussy, but it was good to see them.

I’m wiped out. Enough for now.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night… Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part. The Burkholder homestead got much crazier in the last several weeks. We three are now we four. 8+ hour nights of sleep are a thing of the past and now we’re thankful for 3-4 hours uninterrupted (which we occasionally get)!

Jeff is still at D&E Communications full-time (stats guy) and Hosanna part-time (artsy/techy guy). He’s insanely busy as usual, since in addition to his job and a half, he’s also doing his online comic strip (Zoidland, and if you haven’t checked it out, go now, we’ll wait until you return…) and has just reached his 200th strip. In the upcoming year, he’s planning a continuing story line for his characters and you won’t want to miss all the drama, suspense, and of course laughter at the insane humor that comes only from the mind of Jeff.

Nean is still working 10 hours a week at Hosanna (artsy/semi-techy/semi-admin) and is full-time mom and failed house-keeper (we all have our weaknesses, right?). She is still enjoying singing on the church’s worship team and scrap booking as her two main creative outlets!

Dante started Preschool this fall at Morning Star M, W, F mornings. He adores his teachers and is making tons of friends. Everywhere he goes, he is a charmer. He’s also started Wednesday evening Pioneer Clubs at church and asks every morning if it’s “Pioneer Day”. He is four years old and loves to learn anything new. He’s teaching himself to read and is constantly asking, “How do you spell…?” He’s quite proud to be the “big brother” but does occassionally inform me that it’s a tough job!

Zoë is the newest addition to our family. She is almost a month old and is still only about 5 1/2 pounds. She is a very happy little one and is normally content to study the world around her. She enjoys snuggling, eating, and sleeping! On the adoption front (since many of you are asking), it will take a few months to finalize the adoption and we’ll keep you posted on the process.

Sabine, our silly little feline, is as cranky as ever. She still prefers Jeff’s company to anyone else’s (and I suppose that is the understatement of the year to any of you who have been hissed/swatted at!)

We’re looking forward to seeing as many of our friends/family as we can this holiday. May you have peace, joy, love, and REST this Christmas season.

Love from all of us here in the Burkholder chaos… er… home!

This is our first attempt at uploading a pic to the site. Hope it works

So…how was your Thanksgiving?

Yeah? Uh-huh? I’m really not listening to you, ’cause mine was awesome. And no, I’m not talking surfer-dude, “Hey, you made pumpkin pie? Awesome!” I’m talking, “Hello? You want to give us a baby? Really?? Awesome!”

Yep, it happened! Zoë Elaine Burkholder was born on Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving), we got the call on Friday, met her on Saturday, and took her home on Sunday! Stay tuned to this spac; I plan on posting photos and whatnot as soon as I have the wherewithal to do so.

Wow…We’re now a family of four. Craziness ensues, I’m sure.

–The Burkholders: Jeff, Nean, Dante and Zoë

So, there’s nothing new to report… And I guess that’s the big problem. As far as we know, our profile isn’t even out being viewed at the moment. There aren’t any specific prospects, and today I’m frustrated. I try to remain positive, knowing that God knows exactly which child is ours. But I guess I’m having a back week on this.

Part of the problem is the self-imposed “deadline”. It’s officially been a year since we decided to “go for it”. The decision to adopt “now” was made last September. And despite everything, I assumed that by now I’d have a baby.

So, the thing is, we continue to wait. On God. On the agency. On the birthmother somewhere out there trying to make the best choice for her child.

And, no… the nursery isn’t ready yet. I know you were wondering.

–Nean

So, as usual, several people have been asking how the adoption is going. The answer: ? We’re still waiting. Our profile has been shown a couple times (one turned down because it was “too close”, one we turned down with some concerns about the particular situation, and one in NJ that we’re awaiting a response on). And that’s the update.

I’ve been learning a lot about waiting, patience, and even myself. Doing my best to take one day at a time. Most days I find I’m okay with the waiting. I enjoy spending time with Dante and Jeff, knowing that our time as “the Burkholder THREE” is limited. I know that our child is out there somewhere and God knows the perfect time, place, and situation for us. I’m learning to trust God in what HE knows to be the best child for us, despite my personal disappointment or frustration with the process. I’m learning about living in the present, taking one day at a time, and seeing the beauty in all people and the world around me.

Other days, the waiting seems insanely long. But isn’t that the way with anything?

Anyone wanna come help me get the nursery ready while we’re waiting? At least it’ll keep us busy.

Thanks for your continued love, prayers, and support!

–Nean